


#coulsonlives

by Isabear



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: #coulsonlives, Jossing Joss, Multi, Pheels, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 18:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabear/pseuds/Isabear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An open letter to Joss Whedon regarding that thing that didn't happen. In free verse.</p><p>ETA: Added chapter 2, which is a celebratory list of #coulsonlives theories and works. If you have more links, please toss them in the comments!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #coulsonlives

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's not in iambic. 
> 
> Warning: mentions of controversial character deaths in Buffy and Firefly/Serenity.

We went along and grieved  
when Buffy's mom died  
and Tara, and Anya  
(meanwhile grinding our teeth at how  
the lesbian always kicks it).   
We cursed you for the Big Damn Movie,   
for Book and Wash, for Zoe's loss -   
wrestled with it, fought with it,   
and came each to our own terms.

But then.

_But then._

Between then and now,  
 fandom has transformed into   
a pre-release party.   
We dress up our stars in  
coats of a thousand colors and  
set them on the carpet to  
adore.  You cannot survive on  
old tricks, cannot  
wreck our ships and  
hope to make us  
believe you.   
We know what belief is;   
we make it ourselves.

You want to know what fandom thinks?  
 #coulsonlives

It was a Life Model Decoy,   
a plot by Fury,   
a robot heart,   
Peggy's kiss,   
Highlander immortals,   
Asgardian healers,   
the Tesseract,   
sometimes the serum, sometimes the magic -  
sometimes he made the call himself.  
 But almost everyone knows  
 (just glance on Tumblr and see),   
#furylies #coulsonlives

Whether he's Fenris (and Loki couldn't   
kill his own son),  
 or Darcy's dad,   
or an MIB agent on loan,   
whether StarkTech's in his body now,   
or Hela went on a Niflheim run,   
we asked, he delivered -   
#coulsonlives

Thor found a light in a jar;   
Tony had JARVIS track down the room;  
 Natasha knew more than she said;  
 Clint's been wandering the air ducts;   
Steve knew the blood was fake;  
 Banner's reading his chart right now.   
Fury was just waiting   
to be sure he'd make it through -  
 #coulsonlives

He sleeps,  
 in a room in the belly of the helicarrier  
 and wakes to find:  
a note from Fury,   
Clint perched on a chair,   
Natasha holding his hand,   
his fern dead,   
Loki a kid,   
Steve signing his cards,   
Thor hugging him a bit too hard,   
Pepper babysitting,   
Darcy chasing her iPod,   
Bucky wearing a Stark arm,   
Jane blowing up a lab or three  
 (Tony totally helped),   
and everyone running on poptarts and coffee   
(except Bruce, who drinks tea)   
because life as Coulson, first name "Agent",   
requires too much paperwork to deny   
#coulsonlives

He lives with them in the tower   
(in the mansion, in Malibu)   
sleeps at his desk most nights   
or in someone else's bed.   
He cleans up their messes  and  
kisses their booboos;   
he's Darcy's boss, or Sharon's,   
or Clint and Natasha's handler,   
or Pepper's drinking buddy,   
or Hill's eyes on the ground,   
Supernanny in charge   
while JARVIS makes the footage disappear.   
He pretends not to notice the treehouse   
or poker night   
and disapproves of the pool party until   
Sif's invited.   
He made up rules number one through ninety-four  
 to keep the house in one piece.   
We can all keep calm like it's our job because   
#coulsonlives

Some days he's  
just off-screen   
on special assignment.   
He runs the coffee shop  
 in the basement.   
He likes   
having his suits hand-tailored by Bruce   
in a quaint shop.   
He's stuck in a cave   
(poor Fenris again)   
and needs Loki's magic to break free.   
He's stealing Sleipnir out of Asgard,   
or deciding whether to classify  
 Tony's Roomba army as a threat.   
You have to wonder if he ever wishes no one knew   
#coulsonlives

A funny thing happened on the way to Avengers.  
Fandom went and got pheels for a guy   
who was meant to be just another   
suit. We decided   
we wanted him for our straight man   
(or not so straight, sometimes).   
This is Marvel - no one   
stays dead.  
 (Winter Soldier anyone?)   
After so many decades, these tricks are   
thin, worn out.   
Tug a heartstring or six,  
 be a cellist and   
play us. We won't  
 follow your tune.   
Fandom has rejected your reality and  
 replaced it with our own.  
 If you're wondering what we'll be doing  
 between now and 2015?   
We'll be partying it up at SHIELD   
~Stark-style~   
while Sitwell prints out banners saying   
#coulsonlives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I get too many Pheels, and then things like this happen. Um. Sorry? All for love of this crazy-awesome fandomsplosion, promise.
> 
> ETA: Does anyone know how to preserve tabs and spacing in AO3 uploads? My keyboard and my forehead are getting to be really good friends here.


	2. I do believe in Coulsons, I do, I do!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom [jossed Joss](http://pagebranson.tumblr.com/post/33711971223/nycc-marvel-tv-panel-recap-now-with-pictures), and now it's time to celebrate! 
> 
> Here begins a list of #coulsonlives theories; please toss in links of your own in the comments if you know of something that isn't on here. This list will be updated as often as I remember to log in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that #coulsonlives is official, there's only one thing missing: how did he do it?
> 
> Here is a list of fanworks by theory. If you know of other theories out there, please share the links into the comments, and I'll add them. _Any_ fanwork is welcome: any rating, any pairing, any medium (meta included). I only ask that the work be focused either on someone discovering that #coulsonlives or on how he managed to survive.
> 
> (Please note that some of these categories may slightly spoil the stories, just because sometimes how Coulson lives is supposed to be a surprise. If you'd rather avoid any spoilers, use the #coulsonlives tag or type "Phil Coulson" and "Fix-It" into the advanced search to find most of the works here on the archive.)

###  Tesseract 

  
[yours for good](http://archiveofourown.org/works/473500) (Clint/Coulson)
  
       
_There's a whole lot he would give to hear Phil's dry "Impressive," through the comm, and maybe it's fucked up that the brush of card stock against the skin of his chest allows him to pretend that Phil's voice is real, but fucked up is all he's got._   

  
  
[Guide You Home](http://archiveofourown.org/works/437739) (Clint/Coulson)
  
     Aside from the whole "hallucinating Phil Coulson everywhere he goes" thing, Clint thinks he's holding up fairly well.
  
  
[Don't Mention Demi Moore](http://archiveofourown.org/works/404052/chapters/666214) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    ‘You’ll drown their roots, watering them that much,’ Phil says.

    Given the circumstances, it’s not terribly surprising that Clint drops the coffee mug he’s been using to water the houseplants and jumps a foot backwards in sheer astonishment.
  
  
[That We Do Not Speak](http://archiveofourown.org/works/521857) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    They tell him Phil’s dead but Clint's not so sure. He can still sometimes feel the Tesseract under his skin and knows, deep down, that death cannot stop Phil Coulson.

  


###  Super-Serum 

  
[Mono (The Super-Soldier Serum Strand)](http://http://archiveofourown.org/works/7562887) (Peggy/Steve, Pepper/Tony, and other pairings)
  
    He kisses her like it’s the end of the world. And then he dies, and it is, and Peggy starts counting the years in terms of A.S. After Steve. And then she gets to 5 A.S and realizes she hasn’t aged a day, and it occurs to her that kiss might have been more important than she thought. Peggy/Steve and a happy ending.

  
[Improbable](http://archiveofourown.org/works/457692) (Gen) (Thanks, Anon!)
  
    Improbable: not likely to be true or to happen: unexpected, likely to be impossible, or apparently inauthentic.

    Phil Coulson was not born in 1964.

    He was born years before that,

    In 1938.

    

  


###  unspecified experimental treatment 

  
[Twentieth Time's the Charm](http://archiveofourown.org/works/502495) (Clint/Coulson, Clint/Tony, Tony/Bruce)
  
    Clint and Tony get laid, have fun, and eventually fall in love, but not necessarily with each other.

    Or, the one where everyone assumes that Clint and Tony are dating just because they're fucking, and Clint doesn't understand why.

  


### Stark-Tech (non-robots)

  
[Bleed the Hours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/398262) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    When they first told Clint, he had no reaction other than a soft 'Oh,' and a quiet nod.
  
  
[A Formula, A Phrase Remains](http://archiveofourown.org/works/532653) (gen)
  
    Tony is not resigned.
  
  
[If I Only Had a Heart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/442323) (Steve/Coulson)
  
    Taken from a prompt on avengerkink: Phil Coulson did survive being stabbed in the heart and ended up with an artificial heart. How did the Avengers react?

  


### Robots

  
[His One Good Eye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/512193) (Gen)
  
    When Nick Fury walked with a purpose, no one bothered him.
  
  
[Never Saying Goodbye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/539598) (Clint/Coulson)
  
       
_“When the Director told you I was dead, he thought I was. He didn’t know I’d decided to field-test the Life Model Decoys.”_   

  
  
[The Body Electric](http://archiveofourown.org/series/18556) (Clint/Coulson, plus strong gen relationships)
  
     The most popular rumor in SHIELD was that Agent Phil Coulson was created in a lab. The rumor was unproven. It was also true.
  
  
[Finding a Piece of Your Heart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/472590) (Gen)
  
    A short response to http://erebusodora.tumblr.com/ 's Coulson Lives challenge.

  


### Mythology

  
[Waterbound](http://archiveofourown.org/works/503605/chapters/885003) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Phil Coulson is gone, and the Avengers mourn him in their own small ways.

    But Coulson is one stubborn SOB, and nothing is quite that simple.
  
  
[Legend](http://archiveofourown.org/works/499271) (Gen)
  
    This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
  
  
[Exit...Stage Right?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/499254) (Gen)
  
    Death doesn't quite mean what you think it does when you're a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.
  
  
[Taking Action](http://archiveofourown.org/series/22959) (Clint/Coulson, Steve/Tony/Pepper, Natasha/Bruce)
  
    A single timeline told from three different perspectives, involving three different relationships.

    Steve wants what Tony and Pepper have, and maybe wants Tony and Pepper.  
Bruce and Natasha are both looking for someone to care for, and need a little caring-for themselves.  
Clint is just so damned glad to have Coulson back he won't ask for anything more, but Coulson has other ideas.

    Also there are incidental zombies, friendly robots, not-so-friendly robots, video games, and a jar full of soul.
  
  
[Helheim Is Nice This Time Of Year](http://archiveofourown.org/works/464241/chapters/801216) (Gen)
  
    Everything was fine until the day it all went straight to hell. Naturally, it was all Loki's fault.

    In which Darcy is actually Hel, and having a damn conscience is bad for her self-preservation instincts.
  
  
[words like arrows (keep missing the target)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/540462/chapters/960313) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Phil Coulson dies saving the world; Clint Barton would rip the world apart to get him back.

  


### "I got better..." (the recovery version)

  
[I am ready, I am fine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/402377) (Phil/Clint/Natasha)
  
    Post-Avengers OT3 Fix-it fic.
  
  
[Sleep of the Just ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/420067/chapters/700011) (mostly Gen)
  
    or, Everybody Knows Coulson Is Secretly A Ninja
  
  
[I Couldn't Tell You But I'm Telling You Now](http://archiveofourown.org/works/510753) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    The Avengers have scattered, Clint's made a discovery aboard the helicarrier, and he's not about to let a little fatigue stand in his way.
  
  
[Some People Just Collect Stamps](http://archiveofourown.org/works/403296/chapters/664918) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Phil Coulson wakes up in a hospital bed. Well, damn.
  
  
[I'm Gonna Be A Part Of It (Whether I Want To Or Not)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/495093/chapters/866425) (Darcy/Bruce)
  
    Relocated against her will to New York, Darcy Lewis has to juggle working as an admin monkey for SHIELD, covertly finishing her degree and falling in love. Only one of these things is easy, and it's not the one that she thinks it will be.
  
  
[Conversations](http://archiveofourown.org/series/26222) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Phil is floating along on a bright, beautiful cloud of painkillers, which is nice. It passes the time.
  
  
[Good Morning, Boise](http://archiveofourown.org/works/489488) (Phil & Avengers, Clint/Coulson)
  
    Phil wakes up in Idaho, alive. Kind of.
  
  
[Talk to Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/443962) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    The first words Clint ever remembers Coulson saying to him are "talk to me."
  
  
[The First Annual Avengers Convention](http://archiveofourown.org/works/436615/chapters/742819) (WIP, Clint/Coulson)
  
    With damage estimates topping $100 billion, New York City faces a long and expensive road back. Charity organizations have stepped in to support the Red Cross and provide long-term relief, but the economy is struggling and money has to come from somewhere. Everyone wants a piece of the Avengers. Who better to help fundraise than the heroes themselves?
  
  
[Phil Coulson is Just Resting (and taking a road trip)](http://archiveofourown.org/series/26909) (Gen, crossover) (Thanks, MurphyScribe!)
  
    Phil Coulson has recovered from being dead. He has scars, he's moving slower than he used to, and he's getting very, very bored with staying dead.

    But Fury needs him staying off the radar "to keep the team motivated."  
 And former Agent Coulson doesn't question orders. Even when he's bored.  
 So, he finds ways to spend the time. And reads a lot.

  


### "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated" (the mostly better version)

  
[well, let the drum beat drop](http://archiveofourown.org/works/404165) (team Gen)
  
    Pepper leaves, and there’s no more pizza, and Thor’s already talked about Jane, and Tony suspects all of them realize, abruptly and simultaneously, that they actually have no idea what to do now. He is, in fact, pretty certain that they’re just a few minutes away from someone deciding to say something about the weather. It’s probably going to be him.
  
  
[Every Cripple Has His Own Way of Walking](http://archiveofourown.org/works/422470) (Clint/Coulson & team)
  
    After the Avengers save the world, they split apart; each dealing with the events in their own way. After finding Pepper weeping over a set of Captain America trading cards, Tony Stark decides that enough is enough and starts putting the puzzle pieces together.
  
  
[argumentum ad ignorantiam](http://archiveofourown.org/works/514872) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Clint Barton excels at loss. Childhood, parents, dignity, virginity, his brother, peace of mind, his brother again, free will and Phil Coulson.
  
  
[Condition: Near Mint](http://archiveofourown.org/works/401595) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Based on this post: "Phil Coulson goes to San Diego Comic-con every year and buys all the Captain America merch and memorabilia he can afford/carry."

    For the past 20 years, Phil Coulson has gone to SDCC every summer without fail.

    For a number of reasons, he doesn't quite make it to SDCC 2012.
  
  
[You're the one I like the best](http://archiveofourown.org/works/457315) (Clint/Coulson with lots of Nat)
  
    Clint tries to come to terms with Coulson's death. He.... mostly fails. Fortunately, Coulson's house plants kind of help.
  
  
[doesn't matter if I bleed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/423448/chapters/707724) (Clint/Coulson)
  
    Clint's never pretended to be deep. He's just the guy who sits back and watches, the guy who makes the shot when he needs to. He's seen a lot of crap in his time, sat through a lot of fucked-up scenes to get to where he needs to be, but _this_ , now--he can't stand another second of it.
  
  
[The Last Time You Slept](http://archiveofourown.org/series/24027) (Clint/Steve, Clint/Phil, Steve/Clint/Phil)
  
    A recon mission goes south for Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Coulson, so Captain America, Iron Man, and Bruce Banner go and try to rescue them. Also (and more importantly), how Steve and Clint helped each other in the wake of Loki’s destruction, how Phil showed back up alive, and how Steve, Clint, and Phil decided to try a threesome.
  
  
[Ironsides](http://archiveofourown.org/works/461340/chapters/795207) (Steve/Tony, Peggy/Howard, Clint/Coulson)
  
    Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.
  
  
[Phil Coulson Plus One](http://archiveofourown.org/works/501947)   

  
    It is the eve of Phil's Mother's birthday. The house is full of rich, educated Coulsons, Clint is feeling inadequate, Phil is trying to keep his cool and an interdimensional nightmare monster is attacking Long Island.
  
  
[The Woman in the Crosshairs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/545180) (Clint/Natasha)
  
    In which Clint has a new hobby and Natasha isn't curious, until she is. Black Widow and Hawkeye, their partnership—and what it means—throughout the years.


End file.
